Lesson 3: Accepting the good, the bad and the ugly.

Our lives are made up of fleeting moments that are the embodiment of our experiences that define us… and one of the things that has helped me enjoy good times and get through the bad times is knowing the fact that nothing is ever lasting.

The phrase “This too shall pass” is a proverb that so beautifully encapsulates the transient nature of our states of emotion.
This has taken quite a turn from my first couple of posts where I get by with saying, ‘stop being a little bitch’ a lot more than necessary… mainly because I’ve never really felt so attuned with a phrase before.

I realised that this has basically been my motto in life, except I’ve never seen it so perfectly and simply put together, until I saw that one of my favourite dancers had it tattooed onto the inside of her wrist. This then caused me to sporadically think of all the times I’ve thought of this to get me through the little struggles of like… such as just before I get an injection, that painful moment when my toe collides with the corner of the bed, and passing through that dreaded feeling of possible failure. It even applies to the positive things, such as winning an award, going to a formal, partying and all that fun stuff. Regardless of the positive and negative states of emotion we’re in, it will inevitably pass.

So, what has this phrase taught me apart from that all my happiness can and will be taken away from me in the same way a toy is taken from a child?
It has taught me to relish in all the chances and opportunities I’ve been given. Not to dwell on the negatives, or to take the positives for granted. It’s helped me to embrace sadness, anger and frustration… Allowing me to get passed anxiety and those moments where I’m so stressed I feel like I’m literally dying. As you may… or may not have read from my last post, it has especially allowed me to stop letting fear of failure have so much dominance over my life.

This leads me to Phase 2: Embrace it, then let it go.
As I hope I’ve made this point clear enough, moments are fleeting and dwelling on them for prolonged periods of time is just allowing you to miss out on other events that are just as crucial. So, when we are in a massive shit-stain of a moment, it’s inevitable that we must overcome it, but firstly we must embrace it.

If any of you have read “Tuesdays With Morrie” by Mitch Albom, you would’ve read that in Morrie’s final months before death, he learnt to embrace the fear of death, to understand and accept it, then finally learning to detach himself from it. My interpretation of this put into everyday context is that when you are experiencing something so negative that eats away at your soul… don’t let it dominate you. Understand the shodiness you’re feeling and know that you can overcome it. Then after understanding how crap you’re feeling, allow yourself a moment to get it all out of your system… But, don’t dwell on it. You want to be left with something that allows you to grow as a person and hopefully changes you for the better, not something that haunts you at every twist and turn of life.

The reason I’ve written this post today is partially due to the phrase, ‘This too shall pass’… That, and as a public appreciation of my mother and father’s kick-ass parenting skills. Whenever it comes to the time where I’m so stressed out that I’m panicking… Like a little bitch (sorry, it had to be done), my parents will tell me that it’s okay to stress/cry/panic… However, after I get it all out of my system, I need to let it go and not to dwell on it. By dwelling on it, you’re just allowing yourself another reason for pointless self-loathing, another chance to relive and regret the choices you’ve made in life… But frankly, it’s completely useless and unfortunately nobody currently possesses the ability to time-travel and change all those bad decisions.

I’ve noticed that I focus a lot on ‘overcoming the negatives’, but this, too, applies to those feelings of great joy. Except, I don’t really feel the need to tell you guys how to enjoy yourself, since you can probably figure that out all on your own. What I will point out is that in moments of great joy, you need to make the most of it. You need to take that bundle of joy, and turn it into a mother-f$%^in’ rainbow.

Until next time, mis amigos.

Kylie. x

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