The Appropriate Amount of F***s to Give: Life Edition

Sorry everybody for being a little M.I.A. these past few weeks. I didn’t really want to post a string of things that either didn’t make sense or were so monstrously insubstantial that they were a waste of space… So, I’ve obviously decided that this one was worthy in some way, shape or form. That being said, I’m going to try my hardest to post more frequently! 

As the new year commences, I only find it appropriate to give out a potentially beneficial life tip for my people of the interwebs. So, as I’ve been scrolling through numerous social networking sites, I’ve come to notice a recurring new year resolution; to stop pleasing others. ‘How is this an appropriate amount of f***s to give column?!’ you may ponder. Ah, my friends, this is in fact a ‘don’t give that many f***s about other people’ column… And I mean this in the nicest way possible.

Many a times we have been confronted with things that we don’t particularly want to do but we do it anyway. Our happiness is leached for the sake of other people… Not even for the sake of their happiness, it’s just for the sake of them. My mantra in life has always been to do what I want… This is of course within the bounds of what’s socially acceptable. I do what I want as long as it won’t have any negative consequences on me or the people around me… And so far it’s worked out pretty alright.

I mean, when has it become ‘bad manners’ to say no? When has it become so taboo to do what you want? In the end, all you’re really doing is living for yourself, not for others. If you don’t do what you want and it’s all for somebody else, then aren’t you really just living out their plans and their expectations for and of you?

This relates to turning down your friends’ ‘hectic nights out’ so that you can stay at home and watch those embarrassingly awesome chick flicks and binge on things that will probably give you a high cholesterol and diabetes. This relates to challenging your friends for that restaurant you want to go to because it obviously makes better parmas. This especially relates to being able to voice your disapproval or if you disagree with something somebody said. No, it’s not cool to get into fights, but if there’s anything that I’ve learnt from the people I choose to hang out with, I like people who aren’t submissive and don’t feel inclined to agree with everything I say. I mean, who doesn’t like a good challenge?

This doesn’t even just relate to friends. For all my Asians out there… and especially for all my people who have relatives/partners/girlfriends/boyfriends/teachers with high expectations for you and for your life, remember to not fall into the trap of living for them. I can’t stress this enough, because I legitimately felt like I was undergoing a metamorphosis or something dramatic when I realised this… But don’t live in fear of disappointing others. I always feared that I would do something that would disappoint my family, and sometimes I still do… However, luckily it’s on nothing that is a complete conflict of interest.

It’s a scary feeling knowing that you haven’t been doing what you want for the most part of your life… Knowing that you have been living to please others… Living to make them proud of you. But I’d bet on anything that it would be even scarier if you went so far down that path that it was only when you were 35 and in a career you hate that you finally realise that you’re being somebody you aren’t because of other people’s expectations of you.

I’m going to leave you with this parting note… A challenge, if you will. Be selfish for a change. Put yourself ahead of others. Live for yourself and not for other people, no matter how much they matter… Because as the wise Jim Rohn said, “If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much.”

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